Feminist criticism of Charlotte Bronte

In brief, I am offended by the suggestion that Bronte's characters are unfeminine in identity because they are closed off, or literally that their personalities are less brilliant, less charming, less advanced in social standing and therefore they are the trodden down. To the contrary, it is their very controlled and withdrawn natures that make them all the more womanly to me, all the more relatable. With Lucy Snowe, I cannot respect "the overly emotional and demonstrative woman who tells all without holding back." To be less open is, I believe and contrary to feminist thought, to be more free.

Dead Lines. Or deadlines...

It looks like my thesis won't be finished in time for that new, much sooner deadline that the school only recently informed me about. I guess that's all right with me because I'm just not ready. It is frustrating because I am ready to start my life and I feel like life keeps on keeping me back.

But, in order to make that claim, I guess I have to ignore some of the huge advantages I have had. Even though I complain about money, I have a lot more teaching experience, and subsequently a lot more paying work, than a lot of other people in the same position that I am in. Also, I will take 4 full years to finish graduate school, but I spent a year in the middle pursuing scriptwriting in the communications department. It was definitely worth it to me to take time out to have some new experiences! I would like to explore more in that field too, so it didn't hurt me but rather helped me to see more of my dreams.

Overall, I am happy with the experiences that I've had as a grad student. I'm disappointed that my "graduate experience" is not ending as soon as I'd hoped, but I'd rather be good and ready before making my presentation. ...And I'm not good and ready yet. I am determined to be ready very soon though. Keep me accountable!

My Claim to Fame

It's funny how I still operate in "semesters" while so many of my counterparts just operate in endless years counting down to their 2 weeks' vacation. (And that's another issue which I shall address at another time!) I am happy with my semesters, with my 17 weeks of life and then switch. I have never been a huge fan of "change" and yet my dislike for sameness is almost greater. I can't stand the frustration of a life devoid of uniqueness and adventure stretches before me like a straight road (the dreaded straight road so lamented by the books of my childhood! L.M. Montgomery taught me to appreciate the new adventures life calls for periodically.)

There is nothing more nerve-wracking and yet strangely exciting about walking into a new classroom to meet a new group of students. They are all unique, fresh minds that I have yet to impart knowledge to. I look at their faces--some of them bored and indifferent, some of them nervous with previous English experiences echoed in their expressions, everyone different--and I wonder whose lives I will touch, whose thoughts I will impress, whose minds will I change? The odds are that few will be changed by me, that some will even fail the class and never look back, or pass the class and never look back! But for the off chance that even one person might be interested in what I have to say and might walk away with a lesson that they will keep for ever...for that, it becomes worth it to me.

I remember parts of my college career, especially parts that are long gone and teachers that I only had once or twice. I remember one sentence, one piece of advice, one bit of encouragement, one day, out of how many hours spent doing work for that course and sitting in that classroom? But the key is that I DO remember. I remember when Patrick Reichard said, "Who are you quoting?" and I realized that quotation marks were a stylistic choice in speech and a rhetorical indiscretion in writing. I remember when John Flannigan said I should write something that matters to me, not something that shows off that I can write, when we were talking about the assigned essay prompts for my application to the University of Chicago (which I never submitted because of that conversation). I remember when Lizbeth Bryant said, "Unpack this statement," and I pondered over her meaning for days. Once I understood what it meant to "unpack" a statement, it's become a critical aspect of my own writing process. I am unpacking things all the time now, and I understand exactly why it's important. And there are many more...

So, even if someone remembers one thing, it is how my instruction may help me live on in the minds of my students. It will be my claim to fame for the future, even if I leave no other footprints behind.